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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Divorce in the Doghouse
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By Annamaria DiGiorgio
Editor of DogChannel.com and DOG FANCY magazine
There have been some changes in the doghouse in recent months. My husband and I are splitting up, so life has been rather difficult. Having Trogdor and Sasha around has helped ease some tension and brought a little joy into our days. So far, dividing up our belongings has been relatively easy – he gets the TV, I get the bedroom furniture, etc. But a bigger issue was looming, and I dreaded having to decide: What to do with the dogs?
We had several options: We could share custody of them with a visitation schedule like people do with children after a divorce. I’ve heard of more and more people doing this, almost like it’s becoming a trend. But in our situation, it just wouldn’t work. Another option was to split the dogs up; he takes Sasha and I take Trogdor. But, the dogs have only ever known life in our home together – Sasha is particularly attached to Troggie. Splitting them up seemed like it would be unnecessarily difficult for them, and how could I ever choose one over the other?
The final option was that one of us got full custody of both dogs. This left us with another difficult decision to make. The dogs are equally mine as they are his. We acquired them after we were married, and we both care for them and tend to their daily needs, so there was no clear cut way to determine who should get them.
For weeks, I agonized over the possibility of giving them up. I’d no longer come home to Sasha’s smiling face; Trogdor’s warm little body would never cuddle on my lap again. These dogs who were a huge part of my life would one day just be gone. I’d probably never know what path their lives took from then on.
Most of all, I wanted to do what was best for the dogs. I did not want them to become pawns or bargaining tools we used to spite one another. I wanted to set them up in the best circumstances -- even if it was not with me.
In the hardest decision of my life, I decided that my husband should have custody of the dogs. The reasons were many, but mostly it was about knowing he could provide for them on his own better than I could – financially speaking.
I’m sure it will be difficult in the weeks to come as I try to enjoy my last days with Troggie and Sasha. I’ll be clueing you in on how I cope.