The Obama Dog’s Influence

A look at the Obama family’s canine conundrum from the political side.

By | Posted: January 24, 2009, 5 a.m. EST

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Even with our economy so bad there’s talk of us returning to the barter system, United States citizens are only concerned about one thing: the kind of dog President Obama and his family are getting. Every person in America is offering the president a puppy. Some with the reasonable request that if he takes it, that person gets to have a kegger in the West Wing. Then there’s the international side. What if some underdeveloped country offers the first family a dog and they decline? Does that mean war? Or, will that country just try again — and next offer two dogs? Let’s examine this canine conundrum from the political side.

Currently, the leading international contender is the hairless Peruvian Inca Orchid, which is a pretty unsettling name. It could be worse, though. Apparently, the dog is not only shy hair, but shy teeth, too. Imagine if it were called The Peruvian Toothless Dog. Sorry, Peru, we feel bad enough these days. A hairless dog that gums his meals isn’t going to help.

There’s also a rumor that Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is going to ante up a Russian Wolfhound, more commonly known as a Borzoi. This comes on the heels of another rumor that Putin has installed a tracking device in the collar of his own dog. So, is this just a friendly offer? Or is the gift dog really a double agent? One who will roll over, while surreptitiously shooting video of the White House, then upload it to the Russians at night.

News flash! It seems the Obamas have narrowed it down to a “Labradoodle” or a Portuguese Water Dog. As much as I love the former, we should cross it off. Labrador is too small a place to offend anybody. And “The Land of Doodle?” I don’t believe there is such a place. That leaves Portugal. Perhaps, they can send us one of theirs. That way, Portugal gets to feel like a player and the Obamas get their dream dog. I mean, Portugal’s small, and we could bust in there and boost dozens of dogs. But this is old-school Bush-type thinking. Isn’t it time to try — even when it comes to getting a dog — the peaceful way? What do we have to lose?

Peter Gerstenzang is the writer of DogChannel’s My Bone to Pick, hilarious commentary on all things dog, and moderator of Now That's Funny chats on the message boards.

Read more about the Obamas’ search for a dog -

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No   No, NL

9/1/2009 5:53:53 AM

EXCUSE ME? Labrador is TOO SMALL a place to offend anybody? Oh right, I forgot, in the US they're rude so it doesn't matter to them if they offend anybody anyways. Heck, they'd probably say the same thing about Germany if they wanted to.

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Marce   Euless, TX

4/29/2009 5:29:10 PM

Very cute article.

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Joyce   Bridgeport, CT

4/20/2009 11:15:33 AM

I feel the Obamas choice of a PORTIE, portugeese water dog, is a grand on they have to very active little girls and a PORTIE is a fine choice!! They fit the need for a dog that is less likely to activate the one of the girls allergies .

BO is a cutie pie !!!! also suits the ethnic origans of the Obama family the dog is both black and white.... he he as if that means a thing !WOOF

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Anne   Orlando, FL

2/6/2009 7:53:47 AM

I think that they should get their dog based on their wants, not how other countries will feel about it. After all, I doubt that the US will have trouble with Portugal just because the Obama didn't choose a Portuguese Water Dog. That would be ridiculous!

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